


The Last Place We Left Off

by jalen_mara



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, It Ain't Christmas Until Somebody Cries, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, R Plus L Equals J, The Night's Watch (ASoIaF), Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 13:00:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17121845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jalen_mara/pseuds/jalen_mara
Summary: As Jon Snow's Watch is ended, he sees visions of a future he does not know will come.~*~*~She was more beautiful than anything or anyone he had ever seen, even at a distance that left much of her to the mystery of his own making. She was awash in the light of the sunbeam, her hair glowing like the moon itself, her hands folded demurely in her petite lap. After her myriad of titles were recited, she spoke. He felt his heart give a dangerous thump at the sound of her sweet voice, and knew that if he did not act with care and caution, he would give her all that she asked of him and more.





	The Last Place We Left Off

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notpmaHleM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notpmaHleM/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, Mel!!! (No, you didn't accidentally forget a Secret Santa, I just wanted to write you a little something for the holiday.) You have been the absolute best part of this fandom for me, and I am so, so happy that we are friends. Love you. <3 
> 
> Also, HUGE thanks to Amy for the beta, and Alice for the moodboard! (cross your fingers I can get it posted here, LOL- Mel usually does it for me.)
> 
> As always, my writing is a mix of show and book canon as it all merged together a long time ago/ Lots of quotes from ADWD hidden within. I hope you all enjoy!!
> 
> Also, in the tradition of my family-- It ain't Christmas until somebody cries.

 

_ “The white wolf raced through a black wood, beneath a pale cliff as tall as the sky. The moon ran with him, slipping through a tangle of bare branches overhead, across the starry sky. ‘Snow,’ the moon murmured. The wolf made no answer.”  _

_ — A Dance With Dragons _

 

_ ~*~*~ _

 

He had been a fool to hope.

 

Instead of reassurance, he had found a ring of fire, a traitor’s cross, and a child’s lie. His mind swirled in the twilight, awash in confusion. There was no Benjen, no hope of being reunited with the only family he had left, only the sting of betrayal at his brothers’ hands. He turned to face them, already knowing the inevitable answers to the questions gnawing within his heart.

 

As Thorne’s dagger slid through the leather of his vest, his skin parting like a piece of wet paper as the blade lodged itself within his chest, he wasted no more time with foolish hopes and dreams. 

 

“For the Watch.”

 

What more could he have expected of them, truly? If Lord Commander Mormont had not been able to survive a mutiny with a band of trusted men at his back, than he would fare no better alone, with not even Ghost at his side. He grappled at his hip for Longclaw only to come up with his hands empty. In his haste, he had left his trusted sword in his rooms. No… It would go much easier for him if he were to—

 

_ The vastness of the chamber echoed with his steady footsteps, a horde of hulking men with long braids throwing open the cavernous doors with ease. He took a breath to steel his jostled nerves and stepped forward, his eyes drawn down the long, dark corridor, the gray of the walls bleeding together with the stone floor until everything become a blur. _

 

_ A pinprick of light at the end of the walkway drew him forward, almost as if his very soul was thirsting for the sunlight it afforded. And in that halo of light… _

 

_ She was more beautiful than anything or anyone he had ever seen, even at a distance that left much of her to the mystery of his own making. She was awash in the light of the sunbeam, her hair glowing like the moon itself, her hands folded demurely in her petite lap. After her myriad of titles were recited, she spoke. He felt his heart give a dangerous thump at the sound of her sweet voice, and knew that if he did not act with care and caution, he would give her all that she asked of him and more. All for the pleasure of her name upon his lips, for her sighs and groans to be captured and held and treasured within his embrace, for her fears and hurts to be vanquished at his hand. _

 

_ He faltered, his unworthiness taunting him as she stood, her stature a perfectly crafted fit to his own. Somehow he knew that the crown of her moonglow hair would fit just so beneath his chin, that his rough warrior’s hands would span her cheek in such a way that she could bury herself into him, her body burrowing into his chest wondrously as her soul would entangle with his own so completely that neither would know where one ended and the other began. _

 

_ Her delicate mouth opened, and— _

 

The pain tore at him, wrenching him free of her violet gaze, her words unheard and littered to the winds of time. It was worse the second time around, his body now expecting the invasion, the muscles of his abdomen clutching at the dagger as it slid inside of him, hoping to keep it and his lifeblood inside of him, where it belonged, where the damage could be mitigated, mended. His eyes flickered up to his First Steward’s face. He had hoped that in time he and Bowen Marsh might come to an understanding, a grudging respect for each other as the Freefolk proved their usefulness, as the strain on the Watch eased, as their numbers strengthened and the true enemy made himself known.

 

“For the Watch.”

 

Instead he found nothing but rage and hatred in his brother’s eyes—

 

_ She had hair like her mother’s. _

 

_ He felt his eyes swim with tears at the sight of his baby girl nuzzled at her mother’s breast, both of his ladies exhausted, their eyes closed against what was left of the world. He feathered a touch against his daughter’s hair, her star-filled curls winding around his fingers as she rooted closer to her mother, her lips puckered and wanting as she grunted and her mother eased a ripe nipple into her gaping mouth. _

 

_ “Meet your daughter, Jon Snow.” His heart, already full to bursting, threatened to stop then and there as her eyes opened and he was lost to their violet depths, her exhaustion doing nothing to quell the eternal fire ever present in them. She tried to sit up, their daughter wailing in protest as her tenuous latch broke, and he quickly eased into the bed beside her mother, leaning her bare shoulders back against his chest, the solidness of them both reassuring him, anchoring him to the here and now. _

 

_ He pressed his lips to her mother’s temple, tasting the sweat of her long labor and thinking that he had never tasted anything so sweet.  _

 

_ “What shall we call her?” He whispered, awe filled as he watched his daughter sup at her leisure, not a care in all the world weighing her down. He would give his life a thousand times over to ensure that none ever would. Her tiny hands waved in the air and he grasped one gently, shocked at the surprising strength she displayed. Her eyes flew open at the touch, the startling grey of their depths marking her as his as surely as if a brand had settled on both of their hearts. _

 

_ Her mother sighed, and settled her head under his chin, her hair brushing the base of his jaw with the slightest tickle, just as he had known it would. “We have time to discuss it,” she whispered. “All the time in the world,  _ Ñuha jorrāelagon _.” _

 

_ “Aye,” he agreed easily. “All the time in the—” _

 

His vision was bleeding around the edges, the grey of the stone and the white of the snow swirling, spinning. He was going to die. His brothers would see the job done and be thrice damned for it. Yarwyck’s face swam dangerously in front of his, and Jon raised a hand in protest, knowing what was coming, but unable to stop it.

 

“For the Watch.”

 

His body rocked back with the force of the blow, the pain blossoming like a rose in springtime, the petals unfolding—

 

_ The smell of her was intoxicating. _

 

_ She lay sprawled out beneath him, her arms stretched gracefully above her head, every inch of her lovely skin on display to him, a sweet smile that she saved only for him playing on her parted lips. _

 

_ His hands were shaking as he pulled the bed curtains closed, effectively shutting them away from the rest of the world. They could wait on their Queen, as he would from this day until his last day.  _

 

_ She was breathtaking— she always had been, but something about her tonight ensnared him more surely than a moth to a flame. If he must die, let it be at her hand, let him burn eternally for her, quenched in her fire that would purify as well as scorch and burn. _

 

_ Gently, he grasped her ankle, pulling it to his lips, unable to resist the pull of her gravity any longer, but wanting, willing to worship her for as long as she would allow. He pressed a languid kiss to her skin, her sigh of pleasure rippling through him, a surge of heat straight to his cock as he caressed her calf, trailing his fingers lightly along her skin, teasing touches designed to entice, to please, to ignite. _

 

_ His lips followed his fingers, his tongue suckling at the crook of her knee, setting his teeth to her, a gasp of pleasure falling from those treasured lips as his hands crept ever higher, her muscled thighs already quivering under his sure touch. The heat of her center threatened to engulf him, but he resisted, for now, earning him a whine of distress as his fingers danced ever so slightly over the line of her, the nub at the apex of her, the very core of her already wet and dripping for him, and him alone. _

 

_ He blew a gentle breath over her center, chuckling softly as she arched her hips, anxious to have his mouth on her, his tongue inside of her, molding her to his very wants and will. He could feel his stones tightening in response to her, his cock now hard as it had ever been. And yet, he lingered— ever the patient wolf, stalking his prey. _

 

_ He pressed a firm kiss to the crease of her hip, his tongue swirling over the bone, his fingers dancing in and out of her navel, slowly sweeping up the slope of her perfect breasts, her dusky pink nipples already peaked and aching for his touch, for his tongue, for his lavish attentions. A groan escaped her lips as he finally grasped one of her breasts, kneading it gently in his hand, his mouth and tongue counting her ribs. She arched into him as he found her rosy nipple and rolled it with his forefinger and thumb. _

 

_ He felt a new rush of wetness against his thigh, nestled between her legs to give her something to grind down upon, and fought the urge to again laugh, knowing that his Queen would take matters into her own hands soon if he was not careful, deliberate. Instead, he turned savage in the breath of a moment, taking her other nipple into his mouth, a conquest of near brutal proportion as he worried it with his teeth, his other hand now sweeping up the column of her throat, tracing her puffy lips as she sucked his fingers into her eager mouth with a groan. _

 

_ He answered with a groan of his own, his bearded face buried between her breasts, scraping and chafing her as he finally lifted up to claim her mouth as his own, to draw her lips and tongue into him, to drink from her as if he were a man starved and dying of thirst, and the taste of the secret she held behind her lips was the only oasis in the desert for a thousand miles in any direction. _

 

_ His rigid cock was trapped between them, fully erect, demanding in such a way that he must abandon the rest of his planned assault, or else he would prove himself the green boy he still felt he was, no matter how many times he had taken his Queen, no matter how many times she had offered herself freely to him. Taking himself in hand, he teased at her entrance, already soaked and primed, her cunt grasping and clenching around him immediately as he slid inside, slid home. _

 

_ They both stilled for a moment, awash in the intimate awareness that only lovers can experience, the thrill and the joy of the now, the never knowing where one began and the other ended— the perfect fit of them both, together.  _

 

_ Violet met grey, all the colors of a thunderstorm building together as they began to move as one. His lips claimed hers again and again, her moans the most delightful music he had ever heard as her hands threaded through his curls, the pain of her grasp welcome and wanted. _

 

_ And suddenly, thunder rolled, and they were undone, falling— scattered to the winds— _

 

He could feel the darkness closing in, his breath squeezing in his chest as he fought to draw it. Another shadow appeared before him, but all he saw was grey, the same color as Arya’s eyes, the same color as his own, the same color on the surface of his heart.

 

“For the Watch.”

 

There was an odd whistle in the air, the wind on the knife, or the ringing in his own ears, he no longer knew the difference, only that spike of excruciating pain again as he—

 

_ Clouds. _

 

_ For as far as the eye could see, in every direction, were the frothy, fluffy beauty of the clouds. _

 

_ They paled in comparison, however, to the beauty he held before him. He pressed himself closer to her, his arms locked around her waist as her silver laugh fell from her lips, her moonglow hair whipping in the whistle of the wind roaring past them both as they flew. His stomach was in his locked throat, his voice unable to laugh, or cry, or curse, but her warmth and joy were enough to buoy him, to lift him higher than the dragon wings upon which they rode. _

 

_ She spared a glance over her shoulder, her eyebrow raised in a challenge. “We are dragons, Jon,” she shouted, her words lost to the winds of time. “We are not meant to be tethered to the ground. The sky will be our domain.” _

 

_ Her heat seared through him, warmth pooling in his chest.  _ We, _ she had said—  _ our domain.  _ He glanced down at the black scales beneath their legs, the heat of the dragon below them causing the air to steam in response. _

 

_ “We will be extraordinary again, Jon Snow.” _

 

_ He had no words in response, only a swelling feeling of belonging, of family, of— _

 

“For the Watch.”

 

_ The air was calm and frozen, not even the slightest breeze disturbed the red leaves of the Godswood, the pools silent and still. He sat on the same bench his father— nay, his uncle had sat upon in every memory he held of this sacred place. Longclaw was laid out on his lap before him, a honing stone clasped in his hand as the sound of it rang out as he slid it down the blade. _

 

_ As if the sound had summoned her, she emerged from the pool like a siren from the deep. Her violet gaze held his own, the water streaming from her eyes, hair, and face— the wisps of steam rising off of her making her seem otherworldly and powerful. Neither spoke for a moment, both knowing that while words were wind, whatever was said on the eve of battle was sacred, to be held within a secret heart, locked away inside them both. _

 

_ If these words were the last to be remembered, let them be the most perfect, the most treasured. _

 

_ She stood, the water coming to the tips of her breasts, her nipples hardening in the cold as Jon shrugged his cloak from his shoulders and rushed to the edge of the pool to wrap her in his warmth for possibly the final time. Instead, she took a step deeper into the pool, shaking her head for a moment as he stood before her, lost and confused. _

 

_ “You will return to me, Jon Snow,” she whispered, a hint of her dragonfire coming through in her tone, her eyes defiant, her spine straight and strong in her determination. _

 

_ His chest tightened painfully at the thought of leaving her, knowing that she was asking the impossible of him, and wanting to give her his promise more than anything he had ever wanted in all the worlds. He swallowed past the shards of ice in his throat, a pretty lie lingering on his tongue. “Aye, I will try.” _

 

_ Her violet eyes flashed, her anger easily stoked. “If you do not, I will chase you into the depths of Death myself. And  _ I  _ will return victorious.” _

 

_ “Dany…” the forbidden fell from his lips before he could stop it, the sweetness of her name upon his tongue. _

 

_ She held up a hand, stopping him before he could cobble together any other words of sense, taking a deliberate step toward him again. “You will return to me, Jon Snow,” she repeated, each word accompanied by another step to him, her lithe nakedness revealing itself to him from the depths of the pool. Her hands came to rest upon her belly, a slight swell there he had yet to notice. “You will return to us both.” _

 

_ His eyes flew from her hands and belly to her face and then back again, the swell of love and joy within him reaching the breaking point— _

 

Olly’s ice blue eyes swam before him, the pain he saw there reflected in his own. He had hoped that his brothers would spare the child from adding yet another burden to his already burdened soul, yet here he stood before him. Nothing but contempt to be found within his gaze.

 

“Olly—“ he heard himself plead, knowing there was nothing left to be done. Fate would take its due, and Olly had cast his lot long before this moment.

 

“For the Watch,” the boy whispered, the tears in his eyes unshed. 

 

Would anyone cry for him, as he passed? Ghost would not cry, nor would Arya. Perhaps someone might hear the howl of his soul and feel sad and lonely—

 

_ She sat atop Drogon, a warrior Queen - her eyes fierce and frightened in the same turn, her white and grey fur coat pulled tight to shield her from the cold beyond the Wall. He shoved Tormund aside, anxious to reach her, for her to see all that he had hidden from her until now, until there was nothing left to hide for them both. _

 

_ He loved her, and she loved him. _

 

_ He had been a fool all this time, and yet still she had come, still she had risked everything to bring him back to her side. _

 

_ He raced to her, his joy threatening to break through his battle hardened demeanor as she reached down for him. Unbidden, his hand floated upwards, reaching for her— _

 

He never felt the last knife— only the cold.

 

_ ~*~*~ _

 

_ I find the map and draw a straight line _ __  
_ Over rivers, farms and state lines _ __  
_ The distance from here to where you'd be _ __  
_ It's only finger-lengths that I see _ __  
  


_ I touch the place _ __  
_ Where I'd find your face _ __  
_ My fingers increases _ __  
_ Of distant dark places _ __  
  


_ I hang my coat up in the first bar _ __  
_ There is no peace that I've found so far _ __  
_ The laughter penetrates my silence _ __  
_ As drunken men find flaws in science _ __  
  


_ Their word's mostly noises _ __  
_ Ghosts with just voices _ __  
_ Your words in my memory _ __  
_ Are like music to me _ __  
  


_ I'm miles from where you are _ __  
_ I lay down on the cold ground _ __  
_ I, I pray that something picks me up _ __  
_ And sets me down in your warm arms _ __  
  


_ After I have traveled so far _ __  
_ We'd set the fire to the third bar _ __  
_ We'd share each other like an island _ __  
_ Until exhausted, close our eyelids _ __  
  


_ And dreaming, pick up from _ __  
_ The last place we left off _ __  
_ Your soft skin is weeping _ __  
_ A joy you can't keep in _ __  
  


_ I'm  _ _ miles from where you are _ __  
_ I lay down on the cold ground _ __  
_ And I, I pray that something picks me up _ __  
_ And sets me down in your warm arms _ __  
  


_ And miles from where you are _ __  
_ I lay down on the cold ground _ __  
_ And I, I pray that something picks me up _ __  
_ And sets me down in your warm arms _ __  
  


**_Set the Fire to the Third Bar_ **

**_Snow Patrol_ **

**Author's Note:**

> One day, we were chatting, and Mel popped in out of nowhere with a link to this song and said "Someone should write an angsty Jonerys one-shot to this."
> 
> Hope it lived up to you expectations, my dear!
> 
> Have a wonderful holiday, all! Wishing you and yours, love and cheer! <3


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